Friday, November 16, 2018

My struggle with false memory OCD and ways to cope with it

     MY STRUGGLE WITH FALSE MEMORY OCD AND MY WAYS TO COPE WITH IT








  WHAT IS FALSE MEMORY OCD?

                   False memory OCD is a mental disorder in which our mind forces us to believe something which didnt happen in real but our mind imagines a scenario due to fear and compels us to check things again and again for satisfaction.

WHAT HAPPENS IN FALSE MEMORY OCD? 

           In this disorder, our mind just popps up a random thought about something due to fear of chances for it to happen, but due to fear,, we pay attention to this thought and become worry and anxious,. We think that whatever we are thinking is real whereas in real this is just a thought, not a reality. Due to excessive thinking and worrying over that thought, our mind sends signals that something is wrong.. To erase that doubt we begin to check things again and again to satisfy our mind..But in reality due to checking again and again instead of mental satisfaction we are making ourself obcess over it and we cant satisfy ourself, we are just making things worse. We think that if we stop obcessing over that thing,, something wrong will happen. These kinds of thoughts are so repeative that they make us worry and cause anxiety..It makes us unable to focus over other stuff going on in our life. No matter how many times we have checked the things , we cant satisfy ourselves and we cant get rid of these kinds of thoughts. 


MY JOURNEY OF FALSE MEMORY OCD


                         I am going to share my journey with false memory ocd. I never realized in my early teens that why i check light switches in my home again and again..why i check whether i correctly placed my shoes on rack or not, why i clean my glass again and again and hesitate to drink water from someone else glass without cleaning it several times..Once during washing glass,, i remember that i broke it due to harsh cleaning of it and made my finger bleeding. I always used to satisfy myself by saying that maybe i am careful about stuffs or i want things to be perfect and i used to think that its a good trait..But in my late teens, i realized that it was not a  good thing infact it was a curse. Cleanliness is a good thing, to place things in order is a good thing but obcessing over it is a.really really dangerous thing. 



Now let me discuss the first time i encountered the false memory ocd. It first happened when i were 19. During my mdcat preparation, a thought came in my mind that i should buy new books in order to pass exams whereas i had old books but in good condition, but my mind forced me to think that i need to spend money in order to buy good books in order to pass the exams., otherwise i would fail. That thought was soo foolish but my mind took it serious and started believing that whatever i were thinking was correct  . It seemed that i were not a single person infact it seemed like i were two people in one body. I knew that whatever i were thinking is a  bullshit but my mind started causing repetitive thoughts and believed that bullshit. It became an obcession and i became unable to focuss on my studies..I just wanted to buy new books . My inability to buy new books caused anxiety which lasted for 3 months after which i went to a trip and when i came back my obcession for new books had gone and there i realized the ways to cope with false memory ocd. 



Another obcession that i faced was that a thought popped in my mind that what if i have accidentally sent someone a friend request on fb. In real i know that its not true i am very careful about using fb. instead of checking again and again on my fb newsfeed i were not able to satisfy myself. This thought is so repetitive and intrusive that we cant challenge it .  It makes itself seems so real that we have to listen to it despite we know the fact that its a total bullshit  .  

WAYS TO COPE WITH THE FALSE MEMORY OCD:

             
I am gonna tell you my ways to cope with false memory ocd..

  • Ignore the thought. Check once. If everything is fine. No need to check again and again. Understand that its ocd. 

  • Dont tell yourself that i should resist the thought from coming. Actually it can make it worse. Instead of doing this, keep yourself busy and replace your thoughts with positive ones .
Continue this practice for atleast one week after which this thought will no longer bother you. 
  • Spend your time with family and friends. Do fun with them. Remember that ocd is a kind of beast that wants you to spend your time with it. Life is too short to spend your time with someone who gives you tension and anxiety and generates thoughts that dont even make sense. 
  • Remind yourself that your false memory ocd is due to your past blunders and bad experiences..These blunders and bad experiences make us grow and make us to learn things. We should not make them a big deal. Everyone does blunders..Stop obcessing over perfection..Nothing is perfect..Sometimes we should let go of things. 

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